I'm friends with a talking dog, our conversations are bark-worthy.

I'm friends with a tree, we have a root connection.

I told my pencil it's pointless, it broke down in tears.

I'm friends with a map, we're on the same page.

I asked my calculator for a joke, it said, 'You can count on me.'

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, you won't like it.

I'm friends with a math book, it has too many problems.

I used to be a tailor, but I couldn't straighten things out.

I'm friends with a scoreboard, we always see eye to eye.

I'm friends with a thesaurus, in fact, we're mutual.

I'm friends with a broken pencil, it's pointless.

I used to be a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it.

I'm friends with a tree, they're oak-ay.

I used to be an elevator operator, but the job had its ups and downs.

I'm friends with a jigsaw puzzle, we just fit together.

I used to be a train conductor, but I never had a locomotive.

I'm friends with a bicycle, we wheel-y get along.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She was too square.

I started a band called 1023MB. We haven't gotten a gig yet.

I'm not a doctor, but I do have a lot of patients.

I used to play hide and seek with Windows - but then it went into hiding.