What do you call a blonde with 90% brain capacity? A genius in her field.

How do you plant blonde flowers? Bury them in soil and water them with bleach.

Why did the blonde tip-toe out of the M&M factory? She didn't want to wake the sleeping bags.

Why did the blonde try to kill a fish? She thought it was a goldfish.

What do you call a blonde who wears a hat with holes in it? All ears.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the beach? To climb over the sandcastle walls.

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios? 'Looks like donut seeds!'

How did the blonde break her leg trying to open a jar of pickles? She fell off the pickle.

Why did the blonde bring a squeegee to the bar? In case she needed a transparent drink.

How did the blonde break her arm while trying to make a sandwich? She got stuck in the tomato sauce.

How did the blonde break her leg while vacuuming? She tripped over the power cord.

Why did the blonde bring her own water to the restaurant? She heard they charge for tap water.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the movie theater? The movie was supposed to be a spoon-feeding drama.

What do you call a blonde with a car on top of her? Squashed.

What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown? An overachiever.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the party? In case she wanted to draw the line.

How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She thought it was a flying fish.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of milk for hours? It said 'shake well'.

What did the blonde say to the soda can? 'You're so bubbly.'

Why did the blonde bring a shotgun to the wedding? She heard the groom was going to be shot.

Why did the blonde try to shoot a fish? She thought it was a sitting duck.