I'm reading a book on photocopiers, every page is the same.

I'm friends with a reflexologist - they really know how to toe the line.

I'm friends with a baker, they're on the rise.

I told my wife she should make a pun about cheese - she said it was too cheesy.

I attempted to catch fog yesterday - I mist.

I told my computer I'm feeling sick, now it's running a fever.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both left hands. On the other hand, everything's alright.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

I'm friends with a vegan. I know so many plant-based jokes, it's a faux pas.

I like big books and I cannot lie. You other readers can't deny.

I'm friends with a mime. He's a man of few words.

I'm friends with a locksmith. His jokes are key.

I told my computer I needed a break, it replied 'Coffee or tea?'

I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport, I just like to kick things.

I told my wife she should stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe.

I'm friends with a vegan who avoids meateors.

I'm friends with some farmers, they really know how to raise the steaks.

I'm friends with some astronauts, they always bring me back down to earth.

I'm friends with some fishermen, they sure know how to tackle problems.

I'm friends with some painters, they really know how to brush things off.

I'm friends with some comedians, they always have me in stitches.