I tried to write a joke about the sun, but it's too light-hearted for me.

I told my wife she should embrace her inner demons. She replied, 'They already have a strong hold on me.'

Why did the burglar hang his diploma on the wall? To show he had a degree in breaking and entering.

I told my wife she should embrace her imperfections. She replied, 'Sure, as long as you embrace your bald spot.'

I told my wife she should embrace her dark side. She said, 'I already have, it's called my wardrobe.'

I asked the fortune teller how I would die. She said, 'You will be killed by an assassin.' I asked, 'But when?' She replied, 'No worries, it will be a surprise.'

I told my wife she should embrace her fears. She replied, 'I do, every time I see a spider.'

I asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide. She replied, 'They never return those.'

I told my wife she should embrace her bad habits. She said, 'I'm already an expert at that.'

I told my wife she should embrace her inner beauty. She looked at me and said, 'Thanks, but that ship has sailed.'

I tried to come up with a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.

I tried to write a joke about a fence, but as it turned out, it was quite wooden.

I heard about the kidnapping at the park. He woke up. It's not funny anymore.

I told my wife she should embrace her inner beauty. She said, 'I've tried, but it just keeps getting deeper.'

I heard about the kidnapping at the park. He woke up. He was relieved to find out that it was all just a dream.

I tried to come up with a joke about construction, but it's still under construction.

I asked my wife for her best dark humor joke. She said, 'Marriage.'

I used to be a baker, but my business went bust. I couldn't make enough dough, so I had to roll out.

I asked my dad for his best dark humor joke. He said, 'I’ll tell you when you’re older.'

I told my therapist I have a fear of speed bumps. He asked me if I'm slowly getting over it.

I started a new job at the cemetery. People are dying to get in.