Why don't scientists trust stairs? They're always up to something!

I asked my dad if we could go to the circus. He said, 'No, the circus always leaves me in tents.'

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire!

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

I asked the librarian if they had a book on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'

I would tell you a joke about clowns, but it's too...circuspect.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed some space.

Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!

I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking... JK Rolling!

I'm reading a book on teleportation, it's out of this world!

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!

I would tell you a joke about gardening, but it's too corny!

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she kept running away from the ball!

It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad... It’s a faux pa.

I would tell you a joke about the chicken crossing the road, but it's a little fowl.

I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

Did you hear about the math book who was sad? It had too many problems.