Why do some couples never go to the gym together? Because some relationships don't work out!

What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here, I'll go on ahead!

Why can't you trust an artist? They're always a little sketchy!

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train!

I would tell you a vegetable joke, but it's corny.

I would tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it.

I'm friends with a lot of vegetarians. They don't meat my expectations.

Why don't scientists trust stairs? Because they always look down on them!

You can't run through a campsite. You can only ran, because it's past tents.

I've been reading a book on glue... I just can't seem to put it down.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet!

I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's holding me back!

I'm on a sea food diet. I see food and I eat it!

I used to play piano, but I kept hitting the wrong keys. So I put my foot down.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind, it's tearable.

I would tell a pun about vegetables, but it's corny.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispers, 'They're right behind you.'

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a rap.

I asked my wife to help me with a chemistry joke, but she said 'Na'.