Why did the sunlight go to school? To get a little brighter!

What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A speck-tator!

Why did the clock get kicked out of class? It was always ticking!

What do you call an alligator that solves crimes? an investi-gator!

Why did the ocean break up with the pond? It was too shallow!

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogey in it!

I'm terrified of elevators, so I decided to take steps to avoid them.

Would you like your milk in a bag? No, just leave it in the carton!

Why do duck's feathers stick together? Velc-quack!

I used to be a chef, but I didn't have enough thyme.

Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

I asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

Why did the electrician quit? He kept getting shocked by his work.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.

I'm trying to write a book about Mount Everest, but it's an uphill battle.

I'm friends with all the oceans - sea what I did there?

I would tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek club, but it's been tough to find good members.

I'm trying to write a book about hurricanes, but my ideas keep getting blown away.

What kind of shoes do burglars wear? Sneak-ers!