I don't trust stairs because they are always up to something.

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it's a little too cheesy.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity - I just can't seem to put it down!

I used to know all the dad jokes until everyone said I was a 'father' of two!

What do you call a muscle-bound mouse? Mighty Mouse!

Why do teenagers listen to music so loud? Because they can't Handel the volume!

I dreamed I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea!

What do you get from a clock that refuses to go to work? Out of time!

What's a ghost's favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster!

Why was the math book so upset with its sibling? It kept dividing its attention!

Why was the math teacher so tired from counting sheep? It was a massive calculation!

What do you call an ant that likes to dance? A jitterbug!

Why did the math book seem unhappy? It had too many problems!

Why was the geometry book sad? Because it felt cornered!

I'm learning sign language. It's handy.

I started a new business making burritos in blankets. I call it a wrap sheet.

I'm allergic to bad puns, but I'm pollen for this one.

I would tell you a joke about air, but it's too transparent.

The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigative journalist.

I’m grateful for the Earth’s atmosphere. I could be dead, but I’m just more down to Earth.