I tried to write a joke about a haunted tomato, but it turned out to be too ketchup-tivated.

Why don't elves play hide and seek with giants? Because the giants are too good at hiding!

What do you call fake spaghetti that tastes good? An im-pasta!

I'm reading a book on the evolution of eyesight. I can't seem to put it down!

I would tell you a joke about paper, but it's terrible.

Why did the actor's refrigerator go to therapy? It couldn't seem to stay in character!

Want to hear a joke about construction? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one!

I sold my vacuum cleaner because it was just collecting dust.

What do you call an avocado that's been blessed by a priest? Holy guacamole!

I'm addicted to collecting vintage wooden instruments. I'm really into guitars from the 60s.

Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space!

Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can fight knights!

What happens when you throw a cream pie at a cat? You get a whisker in your face!

Which knights are the best kissers? The dragon knights!

I asked my dad for his best dad joke, so he told me 'You're looking at him.'

I'm trying to organize a space party. You planet.

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people. But it needs some work.

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw.

How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet.

How do you mend a broken pizza? With tomato paste.