What concert cost just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

Why did the belt arrested for robbery? Because it held up a pair of pants.

Why did the claustrophobic astronaut refuse to travel to the moon? He needed more space.

I'd tell you a joke about a pencil, but it's pointless.

I told my wife she should practice her driving more. She drove me to the grocery store.

I would make a pun about chemistry, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

I told my wife she should do sit-ups. She said I should sit up and listen.

I asked my dog how much is 2 minus 2. He said nothing.

I would tell you a joke about air, but it's over your head.

What do you call fake dinosaurs? Fossil fools.

What do you call an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar!

Why did the Cleopatra break up with Julius Caesar? He was too possessive!

I've just written a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!

Why did the spotted dog sit in the shade? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!

I got hit in the head with a can of soda today. Luckily, it was a soft drink.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market!

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years? Church.

What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus.

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party? He had no body to go with him!

I used to be a baker before I took up photography. Now I focus on selfies.

I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you didn't like it.