Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He heard they had top-notch dough.

Why did the girl bring a ladder to school? She heard high school was hard.

Why did the man sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time for his appointment with destiny.

Why don't vampires give to charity? Because they are selfish by heart.

Why did the coffin go to school? It wanted to be the head of the class.

Why did the serial killer bring a stopwatch to his murder spree? He wanted to kill time.

Why don't zombies ever go on vacation? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind too much.

Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field of work.

Money really does grow on trees. Too bad ATMs don’t dispense apples.

Why don’t skeletons fight at church? They have too many bones to pick with each other.

What did the skeleton say before eating? Bone-appetit!

What's the difference between the Titanic and my dad? The Titanic only went down once.

Why did the chicken sit on the clock? To make eggs-tra time.

Why did the clown go to the doctor? He kept feeling funny.

Why did the witch join a dating site? She was looking for her 'boo'.

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley? 'I'm bone to be wild.'

Why did the ghost become a detective? To solve cold cases.

Why did the vampire get picked last for dodgeball? Because he couldn't handle garlic.

Why did the butcher become a comedian? He knew how to slay 'em.

Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She was going through a transparent phase.

Why did the grave robbers go bankrupt? Business was dead.