Dad, can you make me a sandwich? Poof, you're a sandwich!

I’m terrible at math, but I’m willing to take a calculated risk.

I'm reading a book on the history of palindromes. It's a racecar read.

What do you call fake meat? Faux-lafel!

Why did the mathematics book look sad? Because it had too many problems!

Why did the hippopotamus go to the doctor? He had a fever!

Why did the science teacher take out a ladder during class? To help his students reach new heights!

What did one plate say to the other plate? Plate to meet you!

I would tell you a joke about construction, but it's still under construction!

Why did the ocean break up with the shore? It was tired of being taken for granite!

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek team, but good players are really hard to find!

Did you hear about the math teacher who told a joke? It was a sine of good things to come!

Why was the robot so bad at soccer? It kept kicking up sparks!

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell.

Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!

I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady to me.

I planted a bird seed, but nothing has grown. Do I need to water it with tweetment?

What do dogs do before they go to bed? They put on their pajamas.

I’m friends with a gardener because they know how to give good root advice.

What do you call a fancy lion? A dandy lion!