I tried to organize a hide and seek competition, but it was well hidden from the start.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she gave me a squeeze.

I'm learning sign language, it's very handy.

I'm reading a book on gravity, it's keeping me grounded.

I'm reading a boomerang, it's coming back to me.

I used to be a mechanic, but I couldn't repair my love life.

I'm in a band called 'Modem', we never perform live.

I'm reading a book about famous walls, it's unputdownable.

I'm at my peak performance when I'm mountain climbing.

I used to be a baker, but I wasn't suited for it.

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help!

Pharmacists have a lot of pills to deal with.

I used to be a baker until I realized I kneaded more dough.

I'm friends with a microwave, but our friendship is slowly heating up.

I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his food before it was cool.

Why did the math book look scared? It had too many problems.

I'm friends with a music player, but I'm always skipping his beats.

Why did the tomato fail the test? Because it couldn't ketchup.

I'm friends with a calendar, but sometimes our days get numbered.

I'm friends with a trash can. It's bin great hanging out.