Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? He needed space.

Why did the schizophrenic cross the road? To get to the other side... and talk to the voices.

I asked my dad for his best dark joke. He said, 'Son, it's your reflection.'

I walked into a bar. The bartender asked me, 'Why the long face?' I replied, 'Have you seen the other guy?'

Why did the vampire get fired from his job? He couldn't handle the night shifts.

I used to work in a juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.

I have a fear of over-engineered buildings. I guess you could say it's my high-rise phobia.

I bought a cemetery plot. I'll be the last person to let you down.

Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have nobody to love.

I bought a cemetery plot. People are dying to get in there.

Why did the necrophiliac break up with his girlfriend? She was cold-hearted.

I don't always tell dark jokes, but when I do, they're coffin' hilarious.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful farmer? He had a lot of killer instincts.

Why did the chicken join a band? He had killer drumsticks.

I was going to tell a joke about ghosts, but it never materialized.

I don't need a parachute to go skydiving. I just need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My wife left me for a magician. Now I'm trying to make her disappear.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he truly understood the meaning of straw-mance.

I asked the doctor if my test results were in. He said, 'Yes, the bad news is you have cancer. The good news is you don't have to worry about aging.'

I like my coffee like I like my humor... dark and strong enough to wake the dead.

I'm not saying my ex is a gold digger, but she did leave me for a funeral director.